


where all your darkest fears are gonna come for you

by cap_n_port



Category: Les Schtroumpfs | The Smurfs
Genre: Gen, Memory Loss, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, more characters and relationships will be added as the story continues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 14:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30107394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cap_n_port/pseuds/cap_n_port
Summary: The smurfs have been so focused on surviving that they're not sure how to live now that Gargamel is gone. And then there's those years of built-up trauma they have to deal with... It's not easy, being blue. (Title from "Panic Room" by Au/Ra.)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	where all your darkest fears are gonna come for you

Sometimes Brainy Smurf didn't feel like himself anymore. His mind would blank out while he was writing, and he'd forget what he'd been doing. His flawless memory left him as he forgot important dates, quotes of his he'd memorized, how many books he'd written in each series. He'd stare at his hands and not recognize them as his own, or have entire conversations with different versions of himself in his head until someone snapped him back to reality. He had headaches all the time. And then there were the night terrors.

Every night, it was a gamble on whether he had a nice, normal dream, or woke up sweaty, shaking, and scared. And Brainy Smurf had always had rotten luck with gambling. So, whether it centered around his family all dying in front of him, begging him for help he couldn't give, and asking him why he did this to them; whether it centered around the taste of blood in his mouth and too-sharp teeth and claws and fur and the smurf he loved pleading for him to stop, stop hurting him, until his voice cut off into a gurgle; whether it centered around the all-too-familiar feeling of being boiled alive, melted down and pressed into a form that wasn't his, screaming for help but he couldn't move and his voice wouldn't raise above a whisper- whatever he dreamed, it was usually a nightmare. He stole his old stuffed toy back from Baby, hid it away during the day so Papa wouldn't find it and scold him for acting like a child, and hoped it would help.

If anyone asked, Brainy would tell them he was fine. But he was running on three hours of sleep a night, and he was sure he was going mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wanna know what everything is from?  
> > Sometimes Brainy Smurf didn't feel like himself anymore. ... He'd stare at his hands and not recognize them as his own...  
> This is a result of many episodes in which Brainy loses his sense of self. His memory loss in Forget Me Smurfs, Essence of Brainy, and Land of Lost and Found; His transformations in I Was A Brainy Weresmurf and in To Coin A Smurf; His being multiplied in Smurfplication; and finally, when his personality and memories were transferred into three bodies that weren't his in Essence of Brainy. That's gotta give someone a lot of dissociation.  
> > His mind would blank out while he was writing, and he'd forget what he'd been doing. His flawless memory left him as he forgot important dates, quotes of his he'd memorized, how many books he'd written in each series.  
> That’s the three times of memory loss!  
> > ...have entire conversations with different versions of himself in his head until someone snapped him back to reality.  
> A bit left over from Smurfplication.  
> > ...whether it centered around his family all dying in front of him, begging him for help he couldn't give, and asking him why he did this to them...  
> The Blue Plague! Exaggerated, of course.  
> > ...whether it centered around the taste of blood in his mouth and too-sharp teeth and claws and fur and the smurf he loved pleading for him to stop, stop hurting him, until his voice cut off into a gurgle...  
> I Was A Brainy Weresmurf, exaggerated of course.  
> > ...whether it centered around the all-too-familiar feeling of being boiled alive, melted down and pressed into a form that wasn't his, screaming for help but he couldn't move and his voice wouldn't raise above a whisper...  
> To Coin A Smurf. Not exaggerated.


End file.
